Luke Dog's Blog (may contain profanity and bad grammar)

23rd July 2014

Sappnin' Vegas what are YOU sayin? Still don't know really why im actually blogging, I'm reading my own writing this time, the last thing I read was the collection of billy blue hat in primary school and I still don't understand the moral of the story, sometimes I don't even think story's have morals, I mean like can't books be just books, like they're just a story at the end of the day, nobody learns from books, unless they're school books, but still I learnt fuck all from them anyway so it doesn't matter, pointless sheets of paper a teacher has handed out so they can try and get things to sink into the thick heads of today. People like me learn more from twitter and Facebook about what's going on anyway. Like kids nowadays are just gonna growing up taking selfies in science and tweeting in maths, what's the point. Not gonna learn anything. Rant finished, more stuff. Lots of things have gone over my head but sayings like as daft as a brush, never really understood that comment, how is a brush daft? they're pretty useful if you ask me, sick invention, cleaning up shit without even touching it, and Riga uses a nimbus 2000 to prepare a wicket for the game on Saturday, rather use a brush to do it rather than his hands, gonna take man ages to do otherwise init?!
In a bit

15th July 2014

Lukes blog of stuff 1
Good evening Whaley Bridge, for one who doesn't read I'm going on I give writing a go, I'm quiet good at spelling so righting should be a blast. People probably aren't going to read this because "Luke-Dog doesn't have a brain cell to even wake up in the morning" but fuck it, should be a laugh, I'm not trying to make people laugh but at the same time, a lot of people think of what actually goes on in my incredibly large but incredibly empty head. There's lots of stupid things that I've come out with without really thinking about what's In front of me, I've just asked the people I'm with for there opinions instead of acting on it myself, I think everyone's favourite would be on my first 'trip' to Alicante, there was enough gin and tonic water to drown a fish, "you can't drown a fish Eddie they live underwater, they've got gills and shit" so anyway we are all round the pool and the fags that I got earlier in the day ran out so it was time to fill my pocket with another 20 death sticks to last me, go to the fag machine 16:40, walked back to the lads, "lads the fags are well dear in there, €16.40 for 20 fags, that's a fucking joke man" a quick reply from one of the boys was, "Luke-Dog.... That's the time pal" yeah that happened me being me mistaking the time for the price of something, typical. More stuff to come boys Peace Out

To those that do not know, Luke Schofield is a man of many books. Luke Schofield's Book Of Shapes has sadly gone out of print, but here below are the beginnings of the next instalment, Luke Schofield's Book Of Stuff....

Carlisle is not in Wales
Can anyone enter the Tour De France?
And do they sleep on their bikes?
Every golf course has 18 holes (no one said this is accurate - this is just a record of what Luke knows)
There is such a thing as a fishing match

We expect this page to grow week by week - so come back soon.